The future is my destiny

There’s actually a lot of things I want to do before I die; to be blunt about it.  But there’ still a lot of things I can’t wait when I get the opportunity:

• learning how to use specialized computer programs
• learn how to start my own e-business
• be a pro-photographer
• advanced illustrator
• learn how to design & make clothing
• better public speaking abilities
• read more books–hopefully excel at writing
• grow a garden filled with roses
• become a healthier by exercising more frequently and change eating habits

Having a long list of to-dos, I’m really wondering is this even a break and most of all can I afford this break? Seriously, from hearing someone so relaxed for the week from another university is really starting to annoy me. Why am I stuck in this place? I need to improve but there’s hardly any time for that because I’m already struggling to maintain a required average. Is this really worth all the struggle? Should I be here I wonder. Well it’s too late to change and that is my final decision. I know for sure, that my future is something wonderful…and in achieving that future I am taking this opportunity to learn and I MUST REFRAIN from demotivation.

There is exactly 5 days left to do anything. So far I’ve completed only one of the things on my list…which is deciding the courses for upcoming Fall term. But that took me a long time to consider…and of course that’s that but why did I get so bored on the second task–working on Excel for one of the weekly assignments? Hmnn…perhaps there is no challenge and the task is boring and repetitive. But what else can I do?

Perhaps I can read about Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder and that would prepare me for the 5 min rant I’m about to do on Tues. But I’m just not really in the mood. Bored? Yes. Can’t start to work? What to do?

It seems like creating my own work, or just creating something digital without violating copyright is pretty hard these days. Today I found pictures of a really amazing ball-jointed doll online and I really want to take the image and manipulate it to create some form of banner or icon for non commercial uses of course. But then I thought about attribution part of creative commons and what a hassle that is…to e-mail every owner of the picture and then perhaps they may not even give you the response you want–that is to use the image without having the copyright sign and of course linking back to the owner. I’m kind of fed up with my lack of creativity in a way and I am just wondering the freedom of the Internet has gotten bleak.

Although I don’t believe this is no different than a typical to-do list, I’m setting a list of things I should do if in the summer when I have spare time. Of course school’s always in mind so it will not be mentioned here.

- watch completed anime series that I never got a chance to watch before: Buso Renken (more list will come soon)

- read more books from the library which I never really bothered; focus mainly on manga, illustration how-to books, and fiction

- draw more manga style art and then putting it on Deviantart

- draw my own manga and put it up online (that won’t happen anytime soon…)

- need to go to the bookstore and see if there’s any interesting manga that I haven’t read that are already published in English

Ultimate Plan

- sell my own creations online…probably cards, stationary, and calendar

- becoming *great* with digital illustration

- buying a large shelf preferably glass and creating a favorite toy/doll collection…@_@

Ever since university life’s so busy it’s crazy how much work I have to do. That practically leaves me no time and more importantly motivation for watching anime and manga, both are what I normally enjoy. As an INTJ, I find that it’s important to have some other extra hobby on the side when you’re done from work. There’s just got to be an interest where I can take my mind and enjoy for a moment. However, there’s no time right now for me to enjoy that and as an INTJ, being stressed I’ve begun showing opposite personality traits of mine: the ESFP. I begin to want to get as far away from home and just stay out because it’s boring home. Even I have nothing to do I just want to be outside of my norm. For some reason I find this could be related to my stress level. Normally I don’t think I’m so extreme with my emotions but under extreme stress which I am right now, and without anything really to talk to. People don’t understand me and I don’t exactly understand people either. I am rather lost in translation…

Speaking of which, I am just laughing because why on Earth would someone be so dependent on technology that died because they drove into a river because their GPS told them to. It’s so stupid.

Too much things to do in university leaves me absolutely no time for anime and manga and I was actually looking forward to watching the latest episodes of Neo Angelique Abyss and World Desruction but unfortunately I don’t have the time for that. What really bothers me is that I think I have lost interest in catching up with my manga readings. It just seems that university has made my life simpler in a bad way. I no longer have the motivation and energy to do extra curriculars because thinking and doing so much school work has been making my mind tired. I have a Nindendo DS Lite but I barely played anime games on it. It was such a waste of money and I never got to mod it. Speaking of which my life has been the same but people believed I’ve changed… Until next time.

Sincerely,

Intj girl

I really wonder why I love anime and manga so much I think it’s because the characters really resemble me…the unemotional but critical and independent rebel. I can’t explain but I’m more like a vampire than human…personality wise I’m obsessed with things that aren’t even present in reality.

In other words here’s how you can deal with me:

1. Be willing to back up your statements with facts – or at least some pretty sound reasoning.
2. Don’t expect them to respect you or your viewpoints just because you say so. INTJ respect must be earned.
3. Be willing to concede when you are wrong. The average INTJ respects the truth over being “right”. Withdraw your erroneous comment and admit your mistake and they will see you as a very reasonable person. Stick to erroneous comments and they will think you are an irrational idiot and treat everything you say as being questionable.
4. Try not to be repetitive. It annoys them.
5. Do not feed them a line of bull.
6. Expect debate. INTJs like to tear ideas apart and prove their worthiness. They will even argue a point they don’t actually support for the sake of argument.
7. Do not mistake the strength of your conviction with the strength of your argument. INTJs do not need to believe in a position to argue it or argue it well. Therefore, it will take more than fervor to sway them.
8. Do not be surprised at sarcasm.
9. Remember that INTJs believe in workable solutions. They are extremely open-minded to possibilities, but they will quickly discard any idea that is unfeasible. INTJ open-mindedness means that they are willing to have a go at an idea by trying to pull it apart. This horrifies people who expect oohs and ahhs and reverence. The ultimate INTJ insult to an idea is to ignore it, because that means it’s not even interesting enough to deconstruct.This also means that they will not just accept any viewpoint that is presented to them. The bottom line is “Does it work?” – end discussion.
10. Do not expect INTJs to actually care about how you view them. They already know that they are arrogant bastards with a morbid sense of humor. Telling them the obvious accomplishes nothing.


Source: http://fuzzy.snakeden.org/intj/

1. When you like someone there is not logical explanation – love is nothing logical.
It’s true there are just too many reasons that makes you in love with someone and most of the time love is a subconscious thing which makes it even harder to understand. But this mystery has resulted the creations of many literature and art that were written and created by people with love/in love. So give into it or retreat… There is no exact explanation love is unique and special. Neither you experience it and know it or unconsciously react to it.

2. The feeling of someone liking you makes you feel in love with love, but not necessarily in love with that person. Just the hope of love boost your faith and confidence, bringing the hope to a better future.